The Truth Between Us Read online

  PRAISE FOR UNTIL I KNEW MYSELF

  “I am TOTALLY in love with this new series from Tammy L. Gray. The characters have captured me, heart and soul, and the story is equally gripping, hooking right in to just about every emotion you can experience: love, loss, betrayal, anger, joy, hope, forgiveness, even humour!”

  —Katie Donovan, reviewer at Fiction Aficionado

  “Until I Knew Myself is a story of brokenness, of searching for family, for identity, for belonging. Full of conflict, and yet full of hope, this story is so touchingly crafted. It tugs at the heartstrings and makes them play a familiar, comfortable tune, full of longing.”

  —Phyllis Helton, blogger at www.AmongTheReads.net

  “This book is the spellbinding beginning of a delightful new series! I found myself caught up in these people’s lives, they are so real they came alive right in front of me! I wanted to yell at them. I wanted to hug them. I wanted to cry with them. I wanted to sigh with relief when they finally, finally got their act together!”

  —Rosalyn Schlabach, blogger at All-of-a-kind Mom blog.

  THE TRUTH BETWEEN US

  ALSO BY TAMMY L. GRAY

  Bentwood Series

  Until I Knew Myself

  Hope Series

  My Hope Next Door

  My Unexpected Hope

  Stand Alone Books

  Mercy’s Fight

  Sell Out

  Winsor Series

  Shattered Rose

  Shackled Lily

  Splintered Oak

  THE TRUTH BETWEEN US

  TAMMY L. GRAY

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Text copyright © 2018 by Tammy L. Gray

  Kindle Edition

  All rights reserved.

  Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  Published by Tammy L. Gray, Ennis, TX, in Association with the agency of Kirkland Media Management, LLC. of P.O. Box 1539, Liberty, Texas 77575

  www.tammylgray.com

  Cover design by Sarah Hansen

  Printed in the United States of America

  For my daughter, Autumn

  May she always know how precious she is to me and how valuable and special she is to our heavenly father.

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Praise for Until I Knew Myself

  Half-Title

  Also by Tammy L. Gray

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

  – Romans 8:38-39 NIV

  Chapter 1

  Nine months, twenty-seven days, and four hours.

  The last time he’d had contact with the woman he was supposed to marry. The woman who’d chosen misguided loyalty and lineage over his unconditional love.

  Sean drummed his left fingers against the steering wheel, his right hand occupied with the ring April had so easily returned. He slid the smooth gold onto his pinky, the same way he had in the jewelry store to measure its size. It stopped at his knuckle, the light bouncing off the diamond in an array of beautiful colors.

  A woman emerged through the etched double glass doors of Riverside condos and he held his breath. Not her. This girl was tall with short blond hair flipping out at the ends. April was the exact opposite. A petite, dark headed gladiator who could set his heart on fire with a glance.

  The urge to slam on the gas and flee from Bentwood pulsed in his veins. That had been his choice before. To run away. To guard his shattered heart. To try and forget her.

  But time hadn’t healed as he’d expected, so here he sat. Faced with the decision to jump back in or let go for good. Neither option felt doable.

  His cell rang from the passenger seat, a sharp beep that would annoy most who heard it. Without checking the caller ID, he knew who it was—April’s older brother—the same man who’d convinced him to make this asinine move back in time.

  “Yeah,” Sean said roughly, his eyes still locked on the gleaming diamond on his finger.

  “Well, how did the interview go?” Andrew asked.

  “Fine, I guess. I liked the athletic director. He’s not much older than me. And the school’s fancy. Some donor dropped several million a few years back, so the stadium and field house are new.” Not that he’d expect anything less. The city of Bentwood had boundaries that made it one of the wealthiest in the state of Texas.

  “So does that mean you took the job?” Andrew’s voice was impatient but the complexities of that question were too vast to answer quickly.

  Sean and April’s break up hadn’t just impacted their lives. They were a part of a group. Five of them, friends since childhood. The Bentwood Brats they’d been called—a name affectionately bestowed on them by their parents.

  He, April, and Beck had grown up together, even shared a crib as babies. Journey and Ty came later, but they were no less adored.

  They’d been a unit. A family in their own right until he’d walked away from all of them.

  “Yeah, I took the job.” Sean shook his head as if the action could dispel his lingering doubt. “You’re now talking to the new offensive coordinator at Bentwood Regent School.”

  And that meant he was returning home. To his friends, to his pain, and to her.

  “I’m glad. Now maybe you can both stop being so stubborn and fix this.”

  Sean swallowed a chuckle. The things he appreciated about Andrew were the same traits he loved in his friend’s sister. They spoke their mind, they didn’t back down, and despite her tiny five-foot-one frame, April challenged him more than all the defenders he’d played against in college. She could also deliver a blow that even football pads couldn’t withstand.

  “Sean?”

  “Yeah, I’m here. Just contemplating.”
>
  When April had hastily ended their three-year relationship, Sean moved south to New Braunfels to get distance and to take his first coaching job. And while he knew April’s brother worked for a fire department nearby, he didn’t realize until they ran into each other at a local coffee shop that Andrew’s apartment was only two blocks away from his.

  The first time they’d met for lunch, the atmosphere was hostile and awkward. Having only heard his sister’s perspective, Andrew was understandably angry, but the man did the one thing his sister refused to do: listen.

  Over time, their friendship began to heal, past decisions were forgiven, and now Sean could honestly say that Andrew had become the closest person in his life.

  “Is this a mistake?” Sean’s eyes flickered back to the eight-story condominium. He knew the exact window of their second-floor apartment. The shades were drawn, but he stared as if April were standing on the other side, staring right back. “She’s made no attempt to reconcile.”

  “That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to.” Andrew paused, the silence between them a chasm of conflict they both knew this decision would create. “We have a sickness in our family. A need to deny or detach or just cocoon ourselves until we choke on our isolation. It isn’t healthy. Not for my parents or for her.”

  “Is that why you walked away?”

  Andrew hadn’t spoken with his parents in over two years. The day he informed his dad that he wasn’t going into the family business after all. Instead he planned to remain a firefighter. And since Charles Duncan was not a man to be defied, he offered Andrew a choice—the fire station or the family. Andrew had chosen the former.

  “No. I walked away because I refused to spend my life being a puppet to the Duncan dynasty.”

  Sean’s neck tightened and he rolled it from side to side to keep from blowing steam at the wrong person. “And your sister?”

  “You know the answer to that one.”

  He pounded his hand against the steering wheel. “I despise your parents.”

  “I know. I do too, sometimes.”

  There was no more to say, because their feelings did nothing to change the fact that April would destroy herself for just an ounce of their tarnished view of love. And unlike Andrew, she’d chosen to be used as a pawn her entire life.

  Well, until Sean stepped up and declared checkmate.

  Now all the chess pieces were scattered and broken.

  “Why don’t we meet Thursday at the fire station? We’ll go over the last of the logistics for brunch.”

  Brunch. The impending confrontation. It would take a whole lot more than planning to ever get him ready.

  “Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.” Sean hit end and tossed the phone to the side, the diamond once again catching the sunlight streaming across the dash. A reminder that tomorrow was far more meaningful than the events planned for next Sunday.

  At six o’clock in the evening, exactly twenty-four hours away, they would have been husband and wife, promising to love each other in front of all their friends and family. Making a commitment he’d wanted to make since he was thirteen years old and awkwardly kissed her on her front porch.

  The kiss was a first for both of them and a swift lesson in rejection for him. He’d known her protest and her heart were not in unison.

  Words lie, a touch does not.

  He’d spent the next nine years convincing her to trust him. Nine years playing the best friend. Nine years showing her that love wasn’t supposed to come with conditions.

  No. Time hadn’t healed.

  It’d only deepened the pain. Because time had no ability to erase her smell, her caress, nor the memory of the moment she finally gave in nearly four years ago…

  He hated her parents’ parties. Everyone dressed in monkey suits with starched shirts and silk ties. What they were celebrating this time, he hadn’t a clue, but he came as always because despite his loathing for everything the Duncan family valued, April was here, and now that they’d graduated from college, it was becoming increasingly difficult to see her.

  “You’re broody tonight. Date not going so well?” April had found him not five minutes after a very beautiful woman had hugged him goodbye. A woman he’d been talking to all night.

  “What do you care?”

  “I don’t, but it’s hard to ignore you pouting in the corner.”

  He hid the smile that spelled victory. “I’m not pouting.”

  “You’re not? Then what exactly are you doing?”

  “Testing a theory.” He slipped his hand comfortably around her waist, a touch far more intimate than their usual platonic engagements. As usual, April had worn her hair in a tight bun, constantly fighting the dark wisps that always snuck free of their bindings. “Though your reaction took longer than I expected.”

  “What are you talking about?” She attempted to wriggle free but his grip only tightened.

  “Calista is my brother’s date, not mine.”

  “Oh…” Embarrassed anger singed her cheeks and brightened her ferocious green eyes.

  “Don’t get all miffed. Green looks good on you.” He lowered his head, taking in the sweet scent of her, a smell he had practically memorized over the years. He lifted his eyes to the crowd and forced himself to back away. This moment wasn’t meant for an audience.

  “Come on.” His hand covered hers and before she could protest, they were walking through the dining room doors and out into the hall.

  When they reached the endcap near the bathrooms, he spun her around, her backside hitting the darkened corner within the alcove they had played in as kids. She tried to adjust, but he towered over her, his six-three frame dwarfing hers.

  Shadows danced over her stunned face, striking her cheekbones and jaw. “What are you doing?”

  “Changing the game.”

  “There’s never been a game,” she whispered. “Not with you.”

  He hesitated, seared with a horrible thought that she may once again say no. But the alternative was becoming just as impossible to accept. “And yet here we are, at a crossroad with a single ultimatum standing between us.”

  “Please don’t do this.” She looked genuinely afraid, and he knew why. He was forcing her to surrender to her deepest fear—loving another person.

  “I’m sorry, Jelly Bean. It’s been nine years since I last kissed you and the wanting has only gotten stronger. This song and dance, the dating others for nothing but show, it has to stop. It’s been long enough for you to make up your mind, and I’m done waiting.” His hand encircled her neck and his lips crashed into hers. He was no longer the skinny, insecure teenager. He was a man now, determined, fierce, and he wasn’t going to let her hide anymore.

  To his utter relief, her body responded as if it had been waiting a decade for permission. Her hands tunneled through his hair, pulling him closer. Her response brought more fervor, the two of them groping each other as if they were still in high school. It was disgraceful and glorious. A complete departure from her cold, lifeless upbringing.

  He pushed her away, hands tight around her upper arms. “Don’t do this if you don’t mean it. I won’t accept only part of you. It’s all or nothing.”

  She’d chosen all.

  Gutted by the memory, Sean set the ring back in its box and tried to relax against the driver seat.

  Nine years to get her. Three more years to love her.

  And one decision to destroy it all.

  Chapter 2

  April wove through the rows of white folded chairs, each draped with a pale pink bow, and stepped gingerly over the perfectly tossed array of rose petals that lined the aisle.

  In a matter of hours, there’d be a wedding, but not her wedding. No, the cancellation of her event was more than likely the reason why today’s bride-to-be would walk this beautiful aisle toward her future husband.

  Her eyes traced the ridges on the hundred year-old live oak, taking in the swooping branches overhead that formed a canopy of shade from the Texas sun. A
n outdoor wedding in late spring would normally be risky, but the rare grouping of oak trees and slight breeze coming off the hills, made for a comfortable atmosphere for guests young and old. The cooler setting was one of many reasons why she and Sean had chosen the Allan House. And why they’d been willing to wait over a year for an available date.

  Today’s date.

  Around the corner she could see a group of family members decorating multiple round tables for the reception area. A young girl with a large tulle bow at the back of her dress reached across one of the tables to place a floating candle in a shallow vase—one in a sea of thirty just like it. An older woman praised her daughter’s effort and April couldn’t help but imagine the powdery blue hydrangeas in glass cylinders she’d chosen for this very patio. For these very tables.

  She slipped away quietly and continued toward the altar as if the wedding march were playing through the wind. A melody imprinted in her soul with each careful step.

  At the front, the white wooden arbor draped with lace and held together at the corners by bouquets of pink roses, was just like the one April had seen in a magazine, but Sean had staunchly vetoed the idea of a fancy arbor, not wanting anything to distract from the beauty of their venue.

  Or the beauty of his bride, he’d said, ruining her chance to argue. He was the only person she knew who could make her cave with so little effort.

  The breeze came again and she closed her eyes, the flowing silk in her blouse becoming the wedding dress she’d never had a chance to try on. The one with a classic, elegant style designed with an A-line skirt and beaded bodice. The one that only existed now in the form of a torn magazine page, locked away in her memory box hidden under her bed. A dress fit for a princess.

  But her fairytale would never be written. Nobody wanted to read about a foolish girl who gave her heart away to a prince… only to have him crumble her whole world exactly ten months before they committed their lives to each other.